Take Up Space

ALL the space. As much as your heart desires.

Have you ever apologized for someone else bumping into you? I do; frequently in fact. It's an automatic response. It's the polite thing to do. After all, politeness is next to godliness. Or something like that.

I think that women in particular struggle to fully inhabit their bodies and with how to exist in this world. I know that I have and I still do. Agency over my body and the space around it is a newer concept for me. The understanding -- that I do not have to apologize for being present, for having needs and preferences and for voicing those needs and preferences -- is somewhat revolutionary.

The desire for permission, however, still persists. Women have been indoctrinated to not "rock the boat." Silence is the path of least resistance. It's not only easier, it often feels safer. For some, it's essential to survival. May we always remember that individual choices are made upon individual circumstances and may we always have compassion for each other.

For a long time, I believed that my virtue as a female lie in being as quiet and as thin as possible. This is a lie that I work to undo every day. I'm practicing taking up space. I'm learning to inhabit my body. I'm learning to nourish myself. I'm learning to speak up.

Expansion is exciting. It can also be equally frightening. When I change the way I show up and interact with the world, the world responds to me differently. Will people still like me? Maybe. Over time, I discover that being honest feels more important than being liked. That every step is a step in the right direction.

As I have come to know myself and practice showing up in the world as my true self, I notice that not only do people respond more positively me, I like the person I am becoming. There will always be people who do not approve, but I'm no longer of the opinion that I need to shrink myself in order to make other people comfortable. Yes, there are times I am frightened and revert to old habits, but on the whole, I've grown enormously. It's a life-long process.

We can serve ourselves and serve others when we step outside whatever limitations have been prescribed for us. So take up space, friends. As much as you like. Take it all. Space is infinite, and so are we.